


There is a time for.. (lo strano percorso)

by Lux1224



Series: Winterbreak Writing Challenge [3]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, smut (but just a little bit)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lux1224/pseuds/Lux1224
Summary: The life of each of us is a path, not always easy, not always beautiful. It's so complicated that even the best book or movie in the world can't explain it, but that's why it's so wonderfulORHow Lando met his idol and Carlos met the love of his life
Relationships: Isa Hernáez/Carlos Sainz (mentioned), Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Series: Winterbreak Writing Challenge [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157735
Comments: 9
Kudos: 61
Collections: Winterbreak Writing Challenge (2020)





	There is a time for.. (lo strano percorso)

**Author's Note:**

> **WINTERBREAK F1 WRITING CHALLANGE** by [@scharletred](https://scharletred.tumblr.com/)  
> Musical episode.(*)  
> Shuffle your favourite playlist or the album you’re currently obsessed with and write something inspired by the song that plays first. You can use a lyric or just go with the feeling the song gives you.
> 
> PS: I took some liberties and made some changes on how post race interviews work and I changed the order of occurrence of some events but.. in the end it's a fanFICTION so I hope you understand.
> 
> PPS: The song that inspired this story is an Italian one, I tried to translate it as much as possible. I know that in some cases the translation does not make much sense but I swear to you that I have tried in every way to make it understandable.  
> If you want to hear the original song, it's [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_9JA70bAz8). 
> 
> Now I stop rambling and leave you to the story.

[ ](https://ibb.co/Pty1bVc)

**_C’è un tempo per i baci sperati, desiderati / There’s a time for dreamed kisses, desired  
Tra i banchi della prima B / Between the desks of the class 1B  
Occhiali grandi, sempre gli stessi, un po’ troppo spessi / Always the same big glasses, a little too thick  
Per piacere ad una così / To be liked by someone like that.  
Nell’ora di lettere / In the literature class  
Guardandola riflettere / Watching her thinking  
Sulle domande tranello della prof / On the trap questions from the reacher  
Non cascarci amore no / Don’t fall for it, love, don’t_ **

Lando walks into his room, slams the door and throws himself onto the bed - his face on the blankets muffling his groans of frustration.  
He's angry. Not so much for having George taking his place on the top step of the podium in the last lap, no. He is angry because of this stupid charity race he couldn't watch the F3 competition and he doesn't know what happened to Carlos Sainz jr.

Lando listens carefully to try to figure out if someone is coming up the stairs, but his parents know him and know that if he is sulking it’s best to leave him alone.  
The fact that the reason for his pouting isn't exactly what they think is not that important.

He silently opens the bottom drawer of his bedside table, takes out his phone and turns it on. He doesn't care about the various notifications and immediately opens twitter. He scrolls for a few seconds, or maybe minutes, through the **#CarlosSainz55** hashtag, but when he can't find the answers to his questions, he decides to write directly to his idol.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

He waits a few seconds for the tweet to be posted, then tries to search the internet for some more news and, as usual, he finds himself scrolling through the photos of the older driver.

Lately, it's something that is happening to him more and more often. And by lately he means since his parents gave him this phone "because he is away from home quite often for the races and it is easier to stay in touch like that, to know if everything is ok". But in reality he uses it when he is at home, in his bedroom.  
Someone knocks on the door and Lando hurries to hide his phone under the covers.  
"Lando, darling, can I come in?" asks his mom's sweet voice from the other side of the door. Lando bites his lip thoughtfully but doesn't want to worry his mother any more than she always is, so he answers her affirmatively and the door opens, with a blonde head peeking in, before his mom walks in completely and closes the door behind herself.  
"Honey, how are you?" she asks, stroking his cheek. Lando shrugs and keeps his eyes on his lap. "Hey, don't be mad, George drove very well today and despite that you were in front of him the whole race.. love, don't worry, it was just a race to raise funds for a charity. It doesn't count for the championship" continues Cisca. "I’ll leave you be for now , but know that by 6 pm dinner is ready if you want to eat something" she concludes leaving a kiss in her son's curls and leaving the room.  
When the door closes behind his mother, Lando breathes out a sigh of relief and removes his mobile phone from the tangle of sheets, unlocks it and goes back to browsing the latest photos and news on Carlos Sainz jr.

\---

When he hears the hurried footsteps of his siblings running down the stairs, Lando looks at the time and realizes that two hours have passed.  
He rubs his eyes, pulls himself up and stretches his arms in the air.  
He doesn't really know how this is possible, but he knows that his obsession with the Spanish driver isn't exactly healthy. Everyone has favorite drivers, someone they look up to with admiration and would like to follow in his footsteps, but he knows for sure that neither Alex nor George spend all their time looking for news, information and curiosities about their favourite.  
Lando really doesn't understand what is happening to him, but ever since he first saw a photo of Carlos Sainz jr in his race suit and a helmet under his arm, a strange switch has flipped into his brain and so this great obsession of his has begun.  
Lando shakes his head, he has no time to think about what all this means, he has yet to take a shower and finish studying the last chapter of history for tomorrow, otherwise Miss Jones will give him a C and Lando has no physical or mental strength to be scolded by his parents.

\---

And if that night, or the night after and the one after that Lando dreams of black hair, chocolate eyes and soft, plump lips on his.  
And if he wakes up in the middle of the night or the next morning with his boxers wet and sticky,. it's just because he's a teen and all boys his age have these kind of dreams. In the end it's just amber-skinned hands, a bright smile, broad shoulders and cheeks covered with stubb- no... NO! Fuck.

Lando is fucked, and not in a good way.

**_C’è un tempo per i primi sospiri, tesi e insicuri / There’s a time for the first gasps, tense and insecure  
Finchè l’imbarazzo va via / Until the embarrassment goes away  
Col sincronismo dei movimenti, coi gesti lenti / with the synchronism of the movements, with slow gestures  
Conosciuti solo in teoria / Known only in theory  
Come nelle favole / like in fairy tales  
Fin sopra alle nuvole / Up above the clouds  
Convinti che quell’istante durerà / Convinced that that moment will last  
Da li all’eternità / from there to eternity_ **

If there is one thing that Lando hates about the transition from F2 to F1 it’s the notoriety.  
He hates constant interviews, he hates media scrutiny on anything he does or writes on social media, but most of all he hates all the girls who fill his DMs.

Okay, no that's not true, it's not like he hates it, he feels flattered, but some people are just a little too much. Not to mention the guys who send him pictures of their dicks. Let's be clear, Lando had made peace with his sexuality for years now, but there is a definite line between flirting and being disgusting.

Lando should also learn to pay attention when things are explained to him as he would avoid many embarrassing moments. For example, entering the meeting room in the MTC for the first meeting as an official Formula 1 driver, to meet his new team mate and pouring the content of the hot cup of tea he’s holding all over the ground and his shoes because _holy fucking guacamole_ there is Carlos fucking Sainz Jr in a McLaren hat sitting next to the CEOs.

As if in a dream, Lando watches Carlos quickly gettin up from his chair to try to help the younger one with some napkins that were in the center of the large glass table.  
Under the shocked and amused gazes of Zak and Andreas, Lando lowers his eyes on the figure kneeling in front of him... the hat that has gone askew after getting up too quickly, the chocolate-colored eyes staring at him slightly worried and the plump lips moving and- Fuck, Carlos Sainz jr is asking him something and Lando is looking like a boiled fish, his lips opening and closing without making a sound.

Lando shakes his head trying to get back into the real world and brushes off the worried questions of his new teammate as well as the looks of his bosses.

He grabs some more napkins and sits in the first available chair, trying to dab the mess on his pants dry and to make the blush that covers his cheeks to the tips of his ears go away.

He’s also trying not to choke because a single glance at the Spanish driver and his teen crush is back to slap him harder than ever.

When they say _all’s well that starts well._

\---

Four months have passed since the first meeting. There were many more and, time after time, Lando found himself increasingly attracted to Carlos. The difference is that when he was little he admired him as an idol and for his good looks, but now that he has learned to know him as a person, colleague and friend... He’s in danger because his crush is turning into something else, something more. 

However, Lando doesn't have enough time to think about it now, his first Formula 1 race is approaching and he already feels the anxiety taking his breath away at the very thought.  
But Carlos seems to understand when his teammate's head starts to wander and always finds the right words or some gesture to calm him down - and if in these cases Lando's heart starts beating faster for a completely different reason than anxiety, nobody apart from him needs to know... but perhaps Lando is not so subtle because the younger one does not notice it, but the smile that adorns the lips of the older when Lando lets himself be embraced by him and only by him, or when the youngest seeks refuge in the arms of the Spaniard, it's a knowing one.

\---

The season is going great. His mental health a little less - and not from the pressure of competitions, to win or to do better and better - no. What is driving him crazy is his teammate. Carlos never misses an opportunity to touch him, a hand on his lower back to show him the direction, a light caress on his arm to call him, delicate fingers on his cheek to whisper something in his ears... And let's not talk about compliments. There is no interview in which Carlos does not praise some of Lando's characteristics, from how he drove on the track to whatever happened in the previous days.

Until this morning, when the reporter asked him what his favorite thing about Lando was and Carlos replied with "his smile" before turning to the youngest, looking him straight in the eye and licking his bottom lip. 

Now. If he didn't know that Carlos is straight and that he has a beautiful, clever and amazing girlfriend, Lando would think that the Spaniard is hitting on him.

Lando knows he's just raising his hopes up, that it's all a figment of his imagination…

Until he finds himself against the door of his driver's room, with Carlos trapping him with his arms next to Lando's head and whispering "Sorry, but I can't wait a moment longer" before closing the space that separates them.

Lando no longer knows if it’s a dream or if he has hit his head too hard after the last crash, but he doesn't have to think about it twice before threading his hands into Carlos's thick hair tilting his head slightly to the side, parting his lips. The kiss becomes more intense, the breaths are labored and Carlos removes one of the hands that supported him against the wall to bring it to Lando's ass. They are impossibly close, but neither seems to care. They do not need air, after all the months spent looking at each other from afar the only thing that really matters now are the hands that map the body of the other, trying to imprint every part in memory and the wet tongues that slip between their lips.

Carlos does a strange trick by sucking Lando's tongue between his lips bringing the smaller one to moan out loud. Reflexively, Lando's fingers close in the older man's hair and he lightly scrapes Carlos' skin eliciting a breathy moan from the Spaniard . This sound brings Lando back to reality. 

What are they doing? Carlos has a girlfriend. Carlos is straight!

The English driver breaks away from Carlos and, trying to catch his breath, but with his forehead still leaning against that of his teammate, asks him exactly this.

As a reply Carlos laughs softly and shakes his head "Don't worry cariño, it's a long story" he says "I'll explain it to you later, but if you allow me, at the moment I would like to use my mouth to do something else" he continues before diving back on the lips of the smaller one than can do nothing but welcome him again.

\---

It's been two weeks. 

Two weeks in which they have done nothing but look for each other in every free moment, take possession of all the hidden corners and not so hidden places, two weeks of stolen kisses, cuddles and knowing looks. However, Lando has not forgotten Carlos' promise and now that they are in Carlos’ room and relaxing after the long day of competition, Lando turns around in his partner's arms and whispers "Carlos? When will you explain to me what’s going on between you and Isa? Because as much as I love what we are doing, I can't get out of my head that it's not fair at all. She's an amazing woman and although I'm happy to be with you and have you all to myself, it’s not fair to her."

Carlos lifts himself up on one elbow and looks into Lando’s eyes. Then, after taking a deep breath, he begins to talk .

He explains to Lando how he always knew that the soft curves of a female body weren’t interesting to him, how at first he didn't accept it and, seeking the approval of family and friends, he started dating many girls, up to when he met Isa. They clicked right away and, for a short period of time, they really had a relationship going on. But Carlos couldn't lie anymore and confessed everything to her who, the amazing person that she is, didn't flinch, hugged him hard and let him cry on her shoulder. In the meantime, however, he had started driving in Formula 1 and, given the type of environment, Isa proposed to him not to say anything about the break up, and to continue to pretend to be in a relationship and Carlos, too afraid of the judgment of everyone and losing his dream job, had accepted. So, he and Isa are just good friends, and she's the only one who knows his innermost secrets: his sexuality and his attraction to his teammate.

Carlos ends the story with his voice broken by emotion and, when he crosses Lando's gaze, he notices the shining eyes of the youngest who, without speaking, holds him tight to himself. "Thank you" murmurs Lando leaving him a light kiss on the lips.

\---

Everything is going perfectly. Well, not everything really... too often they get carried away by emotion and passion and they risked getting caught in compromising positions by someone on the team more than once.  
The general public has also begun to understand something, especially thanks to Henirk with his Unboxed videos and the fact that, being always together, they often end up posting something on social networks that goes a little beyond the definition of bromance - but they don't care. They are living in a dream... racing cars for a living with their favorite person by their side to share these experiences.

\---

And then came Brazil and its unexpected podium.

Lando is enthusiastic, he cannot take his eyes off Carlos, from his smile that remains on his face in every moment, to his eyes that shine with emotion and the tears of joy that threaten to fall. The photo of them all together on that podium, the arm of the eldest that sneaks on Lando's shoulders, their hair dripping with sparkling champagne, Carlos who has always at least one hand on the youngest and finds every reason to hug him tight to himself.

It's also time for post-race briefing, and celebrations with the team, but Lando can't take it anymore, he needs to have Carlos all to himself. 

The Spaniard is heading towards his driver's room to take off his wet and sticky champagne race suit and Lando, before going to settle down, grabs him by the wrist and pulls him in "You have ten minutes, then I want you in my room and I don't accept delays... I need you. Now!" he whispers, then he lets go of him him and, after a meaningful glance, goes back to the hotel.

Still shaken by the events of the day and giddy at Lando's tone, Carlos hurries to change and heads to Lando's hotel room - which by now is their room - anticipation making his blood sparkle in his veins.

Carlos knocks and the door is opened by Lando, completely naked if not for the skimpy boxers, and with his hair still damp from the shower. The smaller one pulls him into the room by the wrist, closes the door and approaches him to stand directly in front of him.  
Carlos presses his back flat against the door, he doesn't know whether to be scared or turned on by this Lando, he doesn't think he's ever seen like this.

"Hi... I made it as soon as possible" says Carlos "What did you need?"

Placing his hands on the door to either side of Carlos' head, Lando answers "What did I need you ask me? The simple answer is: you" he begins.

Carlos can't take his eyes off of the brits’ hungry ones , who looks at the body of the oldest from head to toe then gets even closer pressing their chests together "The extended answer is better explained in another way" concludes Lando before capturing his partner's plump lips between his.

The intense kiss is cut short by Lando who takes a step back "I want you naked on the bed. Five seconds... tik-tok tik-tok, time is ticking" he orders and Carlos, still disoriented by the sudden change of tone of the other man, takes off his clothes and staggers to the bed.

He fiddles with his boxers, looking at Lando under his lashes and notices that the younger one is observing him without missing any movement.

Seeing Carlos' hesitation, Lando closes the distance that separates them with a few steps and takes Carlos' hands in his. The older one, reassured by Lando's thumbs drawing small circles on the back of his hands, stammers: "Um, Lando? I've never… um… with a man... I've never that is…" Carlos tries to explain himself whilst trying to mask the prominent blush he feels is expanding from the cheeks to the tips of his ears and center of his chest.  
Turning his head, Lando places gentle, open-mouth kisses along the back of Carlos' hands "Don't worry, today is your day. I won't do anything you don't want to do but I want you. I need to feel you inside of me" Lando whispers to him with burning eyes "Please" he murmurs leaving a gentle kiss on Carlos’ lips, as if asking permission. And Carlos can no longer resist, his breath hitches, he lets out a soft gasp and thrusts his pelvis into Lando tight.

They go back to kissing and stumbling on the bed grabbing every inch of flesh within reach. Lando pulls back, sucking on Carlos' bottom lip, before nibbling a bit and easing the tender area with his tongue.

Lando lifts up and sits on his heels, astride Carlos' thighs "search under the pillow and pass me the lube" he demands and the older one is stunned, but reaches behind himself and, after a few seconds of searching, his fingers make contact with something cylindrical and sticky, so he grabs the tube and passes it to the man sitting on him "do you always have it here even when we sleep or is it for the special occasion?" Carlos asks with a chuckle.

"Better be prepared for any eventuality" Lando replies. Then he opens the lube cap and lets the viscous substance slide over his fingers then gets up on his knees "now, relax and enjoy the view. That's all for you, I'm all for you" he says before pushing Carlos lightly with his clean hand until his back rests on the white pillows.

Lando turns his back to Carlos, then leans forward, one hand on the sheets to stabilize himself and the other reaching behind him.

Carlos doesn't know what to do with this strange combination of emotions seeing Lando spread out so prettily before him, cock dripping precum onto the sheet and sticky fingers circling his hole.

When Lando presses his first finger past the tight ring of muscles and groans, eyes and head rolling back, Carlos can't contain a moan "Fuck.. Fuck.. more" the Spaniard encourages him and Lando adds another finger, starting to move them and to fucking himself.

Watching Lando squirm in front of him with two fingers in his ass was turning Carlos on more than everything. His cock feels so hard it might burst and, almost without even realizing it, he starts stroking himself in time with Lando's thrusts.  
Lando looks over his shoulder and he whines when he notices the view behind him "please can I add another finger?" He moans, his thighs shaking from exertion. Carlos reaches out and touches Lando's fairy skin "Go one love", he murmurs and Lando slowly squeezes in a third finger. He arches his back and groans by increasing the speed and his breathing is getting faster and faster.

With some effort, Lando gets up and takes his fingers out from inside himself "As fantastic as the show is, I want to come with your cock deep inside of me so, pass me the condoms, they are in the first drawer" he says hoarsely to Carlos who, in disbelief, shakes his head but leans out of bed to get what he was asked to. "My little boy scout, always ready for anything" and Lando, who up to that moment has never lost his bold meanure, blush a little "I may have wanted this for a while and I may have prepared everythingin advance so that I don't waste time when the opportunity presents itself," he mutters.

Carlos, overwhelmed by the affection for his partner, gets up on his elbows and, taking the boy's face in his hands, kisses him hard.

Lando gets up, steals the condom package from Carlos's hands and tries to open it, but with his fingers slippery from the lube it slips. "You are so clumsy sometimes" Carlos chuckles taking back the condom pack "give it to me, you muppet”.

Lando pretends to be offended for a few seconds but, as soon as Carlos finishes rolling it down, the younger one takes Carlos’ cock in his hands and strokes it a couple of times "Are you ready?" he asks and Carlos nods, his eyes never leaving the ones of his beloved.

Lando takes a deep breath, and inch by blissful inch, he slids down Carlos' cock.  
Carlos closes his eyes tightly, trying not to come. The tight ring of Lando's arsehole is amazing. He has never felt like this, never in his life he felt something so tight, so warm, so good. Fuckfuckfuck, he must take all his willpower not to cum like a little boy.

Lando gets up on his knees, letting Carlos' cock out almost completely, then quickly getting down again, the older one arches his back and groans in delight.  
Carlos finally manages to open his eyes and looks in ecstasy at Lando, who’s eyes are closed, his head tilted back. Through his slightly open lips there are sounds coming out which are going straight to Carlos's cock.

Carlos places his hands around Lando's waist and lifts his hips from the bed and they take up the pace.

This vision of Lando, sweaty and glorious, is the best one Carlos has ever had in his entire life and, in that moment, he decides he doesn't want to share it with anyone, ever.  
After a few trusts Lando comes between their bodies and squeezes himself around Carlos' cock who can only follow him over the edge.

After they have cleaned themselves up and snuggled up under the covers, they cuddle basking in the afterglow and fall asleep between light kisses and caresses.

**_C’è un tempo per il silenzio-assenso, solido e denso / there’s a time for silence-assent, solid and dense  
Di chi argomenti ormai non ne ha più / of those who no longer have arguments  
Frasi già dette già riascoltati in mille puntate / phrases already said, already listened to in a thousand episodes  
Di una soap opera alla TV / of a soap opera on TV  
Sarà l’abitudine / maybe it’s the habit  
Sarà che sembra inutile / maybe it seems useless  
Cercare tanto e alla fine è tutto qui / looking for a lot and in the end that’s all  
Per tutti è tutto qui / for everyone that’s everything that’s here _ **

The winter break begins with a bang. The two McLaren drivers don't even separate to go Christmas shopping and not a second goes by when they're not together. Except when Lando begs Isa on his knees to distract Carlos so that he can buy him his Christmas present without the older one finding out.

Lando even accompanies Carlos to the airport a few days before Christmas and they exchange sweet kisses until the last minute under the amused gaze of Isa, until the latter forcibly separates them because otherwise, the plane to Spain is going to leave without them.

Lando is melancholy, he doesn't know why. He struggles to separate from his partner even though they have known for a long time that they would have spent Christmas separately and with their families. 

This is not it. 

Except that he has a strange feeling, but if in the last hug he hugs Carlos a little tighter than usual and if the last kiss lingers more than it should, the older one doesn't complain and Lando says bye to him waving his hand until he no longer sees either him or Isa's blond hair.

They call each other every night, they spend their time texting and, despite the distance, Lando couldn't be happier. He can't wait to be able to hug Carlos again.

But when they meet again, something is wrong. Lando can't pinpoint what it is... Carlos is always the same awesome person, and their relationship remains the same, but Lando just can't get the idea that there's something different .

And then came the Coronavirus, the lockdown.

Lando is in danger of going crazy, he doesn't like crowded places, but being forced to stay indoors alone, without being able to see his family, without Carlos, without Formula 1... he doesn't know how long he will be able to resist.

Moreover, Carlos has become a bit reluctant to reply to his messages and even a few days go by without hearing anything from him and it is precisely in one of these days that Lando discovers, reading an article online, that Carlos will switch to Ferrari in 2021.

Lando knows how fake news go, that it's not wise to trust everything you read on the Internet, but something tells him that this news is not fake at all... so he calls Carlos and they fight. Lando screams and cries, Carlos tries to console him, to explain himself, but Lando does not listen to him, he ends the call, lets himself fall on the sofa and lets all the tears in his body roll down his cheeks, until he falls asleep, exhausted.

February came and went and Lando didn't even know if Carlos was still in Spain or back in the UK. His days were all the same: wake up, run, breakfast, workout, lunch, twitch, dinner - when he remembered - and sleep. Not the best way to cope but playing with people online made him feel a little less lonely.

Then, one day, his doorbell rings. Since the start of the pandemic he has ordered a lot from online stores and, thinking it's one of his packages he clicks the button to open the central door. When he hears the sound of the door opening he just shouts "leave it on the floor thank you" and, hearing the bang of the door closing he goes back to makesome tea.

What he doesn't expect is two strong arms circling him from behind. He screams and turns around just to have his voice freeze when he realizes who's in his house.

"Carlos?" Lando yells in a shrill voice "What are you doing here? How did you get in" he asks, taking a few steps back to increase the distance from the other man.  
Carlos raises his hands in surrender "You opened, cariño" he chuckles, but Lando scowls "Don't cariño me. You know I'm angry, so angry with you right now".

Carlos looks down at his hands, fiddling with the edge of the shirt he is wearing. "Yes, I know" he murmurs "that's why I came here, I wanted to explain everything to you and try to fix things between us. I miss you so much" he says, raising his face and crossing the eyes of the youngest.

Lando sighs, but takes another cup from the cupboard and fills them with tea, then passes one to Carlos and heads into the living room. Carlos takes it as an invitation and follows him into the other room, Lando is sitting with his legs crossed, his feet tucked under his legs and the sleeves of his sweatshirt covering his fingers... he's so beautiful even when he doesn't try... and a melancholy smile escapes Carlos.

Lando, staring straight ahead, pats his hand on the pillow next to him and Carlos doesn't have to hear it twice. He sits down next to Lando, but not too close - he still doesn't know exactly how things are between them.

They both stay silent for a few minutes, the only sounds are their sips or Lando blowing on the boiling liquid in the cup befor turning to the older one. "So? I'm still waiting for an explanation" demands Lando.

Carlos explains everything. Ever since Ferrari had reached out to him, his doubts, because racing with the Scuderia has always been his dream, not wanting to leave Lando but at the same time the desire to pursue his dreams.  
And Lando understands it, really, he understands it all. He tells him that he supports him in everything, that he didn't make the wrong choice, but that he should have told him without letting him find out in an online article.

Carlos lowers his head, embarrassed, and explains to Lando that he didn't know how to do it, that he was afraid of his reaction, but that he was stupid and that there will never be any more secrets between them - other than those concerning the cars because, well, they would greatly risk rekindling the Ferrari-McLaren rivality - both of them burst out laughing and, after months of separation, they hug again and their lips show their love for each other.

\---

After that, everything goes back to normal. Or at least to what can be defined as normal in having to stay indoors and not being able to start the 2020 season. But the two drivers cannot complain, they have much more time to spend together. Carlos has taken over the kitchen and spends a lot of time cooking and Lando does not leave him for just a second, always clinging to the back of the oldest, leaving kisses on his neck in the place behind the ear that he knows will drive Carlos crazy. They spend hours snuggled up under a warm blanket watching Netflix or in the gym working out together and Lando has never been more motivated than this to grow his muscles.  
Not to mention the lazy mornings when they have nothing scheduled and can spend hours in bed, kissing, caressing, exploring and loving each other.

It’s in one of these mornings that Lando, overwhelmed by his emotions to see the Spaniard in his home and share with him all aspects of his life, that he decides to ask something that has been on his mind for a long time now.

"Carlos? I was thinking" Lando begins and Carlos chuckles but the younger flicks his nipple and scowls "Shut up, I'm being serious!" Carlos then calms down and moves a curl from Lando's forehead, as if to tell him to continue.  
"I thought that maybe we could make it official, this thing between us... I'm not talking about coming out to the world but maybe at least admitting it to our families, or to someone on the team, at least from Mclaren... next year will be super difficult to see each other and I want to spend as much time as possible with you this season without always having to look over my shoulder. I wish I could call you my boyfriend" explains Lando drawing abstract figures on the abdomen of the oldest. He can't look him in the eyes, it has always been difficult for him to talk about serious things, but he particularly cares about Carlos and has taken all the courage in his body to make this speech. 

The reaction he gets, however, is not what he had hoped for. Carlos stiffens under his touch and sits up, extricating himself from the smaller one’s arms.

"Tell other people? Are you crazy?" Carlos asks, an indecipherable expression on his face. "Do you have any idea what might happen?" he continues shaking his head "Boyfriends?" scoffs Carlos and Lando no longer know how to breathe. Never in his entire life has he experienced such severe pain.

"What do you mean? We've been in a relationship for months.. and are you surprised if I want to call you my boyfriend? Is that all this is? A fuck buddy of convenience?" Lando answers in a broken voice.

Carlos scoffs again "Nothing about you - about this - is convenient".

Lando laughs bitter , and looks down at his lap. Looking back up, he swallows and said, “No, I suppose not. But you didn’t answer the question. Doesn't this thing between us means something to you?" and looks up trying to cross his partner's eyes.

Carlos doesn't answer and Lando feels the dagger burrow even deeper into his chest. With a faint voice he points to the door "Out!" he whispers. Carlos reaches out to Lando with one of his hands "Please try to understand, I can't leave Isa, what should I tell to my family... I don't-" but Lando doesn't let him finish "I said get out! I don't want to see you again. Disappear". He doesn't scream, he doesn't cry, he watches Carlos retrieve his things, get dressed and leave the room, closing the door behind himself.

Lando falls on the bed... it's a strange feeling. This time it's forever, he feels it, but he can't cry, he just feels completely empty.

He closes his eyes and lets everything flow over him... the memories of all the moments spent together flow under his eyelids as if they were a movie... a movie that, this time, doesn’t have a happy ending.

The 2020 season will be a very difficult one.

**_C’è un tempo per qualcosa sul viso, come un sorriso / there is a time for something on the face, like a smile  
Che non c’era ieri e oggi c’è / that was not there yesterday and today it is  
Sembrava ormai lontano e distante, perso per sempre / it seemed distant and distant, lost forever  
Invece è ritornato con te /instead it came back with you  
Con the che fai battere / with you that make it beat  
Il cuore che fai vivere / my heart that you make me live  
Il tempo per tutto il tempo che verrà / for the times that will come  
Nel tempo che verrà / in the time that will come_ **

The season hasn't been that bad all in all. 

Obviously it was different from the previous one, but they managed to take home the 3rd place in the constructors' classification, Lando got his first podium and Carlos the second one.  
For Lando it was not even that difficult to avoid Carlos because, despite the Spaniard having tried several times to get close and to spend time with him, Lando has always been able to use the excuse of social distancing. They kept all the conversations only on the work floor and in front of the cameras Lando showed off his usual sassy smile and acted as if nothing had happened.

Unfortunately, he's not as good an actor as he thinks he is, and many noticed that there was something wrong with last year's bromance. Less interactions in the Unboxed videos, less social content together... and the smile of both that never reached their eyes.

At some point Charlotte, with the help of Jon and Rupert, manages to lock them in a room and force them to talk so, after months of press blackout, the two teammates start talking again. Initially, the conversations are tentative, but as the days and weeks go by, they start arguing with their stupid inside jokes and smile again.

The late season end and the imminent arrival of the Christmas holidays brings the two men to say goodbye to each other at the Abu Dhabi airport, from which they will take two different planes - Lando will return to England to his family and Carlos will go to Italy for some last adjustments with the red team, and then finally go to Spain to his family.

Although they started talking and often spent hours chatting about anything and everything, they never went back to the hot topic that is their relationship.

Honestly, Lando does not even know if he wants to reopen that can of worms. Because although his feelings for Carlos have never disappeared, he doesn't want to have another heartbreak like the last one , he doesn't know if he would get out alive.

However, they have learned to always tell each other everything, any particular mood, anything that could give rise to doubts and misunderstandings, now they talk about it immediately. Neither of them wants to be in the same situation they found themselves months ago.

\---

As they had discussed, Lando and Carlos were going to hear less from each other during the winter break, to allow both of them to spend as much time as possible with their families and loved ones - something that they were unable to do during the year, between lockdowns and constant travelling for the races .

Lando is fine. Really, he's fine. Despite the worried looks of his mother when he gets lost staring at his phone for a few seconds too long. Despite the stunned expressions of his sisters when he starts playing with Uno on the carpet and getting bitten - even if he has never particularly loved dogs and especially puppies. Despite his brother's surprised expression when he asks him if he wants to spend New Year’s Eve with him in Dubai and Lando accepts without much thought. Despite all that others may say, Lando is fine.

\---

Now that Lando is packing his bags to leave, however, he is no longer so sure of his choice. He wasn't sure from the start, but the idea of spending New Year's at home with his parents, with too much time to think about what it would be like to be in Carlos's arms and kiss him at the stroke of midnight, Lando thinks this is the best solution.  
At least he can have the excuse to turn off the phone and not have to see some pictures of Carlos and Isa with a sickening caption to wish everyone a good start to the new year. And he knows he shouldn't blame Isa, that she's not at fault, but Lando is a guy in love, whose love interest prefers to spend his life with a fake girlfriend rather than with him, so if every now and then his brain doesn't make the right decisions is not entirely his fault.  
So Lando puts the last shirt in the suitcase, closes the zipper and slips under the covers. He closes his eyes and waits for sleep to take him away from all these thoughts.

The next morning Lando does not hear the alarm clock and, after his brother wakes him up by entering his room screaming, he puts on the clothes that fortunately he had prepared the night before, catapults himself down the stairs with his suitcase and, greeting his parents, gets in the car.

He only notices once he’s at the airport, after having gone through controls and having had breakfast, that the alarm did not go off because his phone died so, while they wait in the VIP waiting room to be boarded, he looks for a socket and puts the charger in.

Oliver is talking to his friends, but Lando isn't a morning person, so he's slouched down on the uncomfortable chair, hood over his head, and scrolling through his instagram feed on his phone. He's thinking of texting Carlos, after all he hasn't heard from him in a couple of days and he misses him, but he also knows it's 4am in Spain and most likely - like all sane people - he'll be asleep.

Lando's thumb is still hoovering over the message icon when he gets a notification from the very person he was thinking about. Lando opens it and there is only a link so he writes a couple of question marks to Carlos which he immediately sees but when, after five minutes Carlos doesn’t answer, Lando is forced to click on the link - hoping that his friend hasn't made a joke and sent him some dodgy link.

What opens, however, is nothing strange, it is an article in an online newspaper. Lando reads the title and frowns at the screen _"Carlos Sainz Jr and his long-term girlfriend parting ways after more than three years together"._

Lando doesn't know what he expected, but certainly not this. He quickly reads through the whole story and then, without even thinking about it, he dials Carlos's number.

"Hola" replies the voice from the other end of the call, but Lando can't speak, all the words he would like to say are stuck in his throat "Hola?" Carlos asks again "Lando. Are you ok?" and Lando breaks "Am I ok? I don't know. I genuinely don't know" the Brit replies with a broken voice "Why? Why now?" he continues in a small voice.

"Because I can no longer lie to myself Lando. Because spending all this time away from you destroys me. Because knowing that I can lose you kills me. Because even if you probably don't want me in your life the way I want you anymore, I can't go on like this" Carlos's voice is shaking too, but the Spanish goes on "I'm not ready to tell the whole world yet, but I've talked to my family about it.. my father slapped me on the back of my head and mum and my sisters just laughed, saying they already knew" he concludes.

Lando is about to answer him but the steward's metallic voice announces that their flight is about to board and the only thing that Lando tells Carlos before he ends the call is "I'm happy for you", then his brother pulls him by the arm and Lando follows him.

\---

It's 11 pm and Carlos is making himself some tea.  
It is a bad habit he has taken on over the past two years in England, he can't go to sleep if he doesn't drink the amber drink first... or maybe it's because it reminds him of evenings full of pampering and warm drinks with his former teammate. But he doesn't want to think about that. 

His parents have been in bed for a couple of hours now and his sisters said goodbye to him a few minutes earlier, after the movie they were watching together has ended. So Carlos is alone in the kitchen when he hears a car engine roar and stop in his driveway. Curious, he tries to look out of the window by moving the curtain slightly, but it’s raining and he sees only the headlights that go out, making everything fall back into darkness and he can't identify the figure that comes to the door and knocks. So Carlos goes to open the door and, when he looks through the peephole, he can’t be more confused than that. 

He opens the door and on the other side there’s Lando, soaking wet from the pouring rain and rubbing an eye with one hand while trying to warm himself up with the other.

"Lando? What are you doing here?" asks the oldest. "I. I needed to.. please can I com-come in? I, I’m freezing" stammers Lando and Carlos, waking up from the trance he had fallen into, moves to the side.  
"Sure come in", he says before stepping away and clearing the door. Lando takes off his shoes and soaked jacket and Carlos, without thinking too much, takes off his sweatshirt and places it on the shoulders of the little one who holds it tightly to himself. Then the Spaniard goes to the kitchen with Lando following him and prepares a cup of tea for Lando too and hands it to him. "thanks" Lando whispers, clinging his fingers around the warm mug.

Carlos is leaning with his hips against the kitchen counter and watches Lando, waiting for the younger one to speak, to explain his sudden arrival, but the only thing he sees is Lando swaying on his feet and using a hand to hold on to the sink. "Lando? Are you okay?" Carlos asks worriedly. "Yes I.. I'm just a little bit tired... I got up at 3am this morning to take the plane to Dubai, but then there were no planes to Spain and I drove all day and my head is spinning a little, but it's only because I'm tired" answers Lando, the words slurred with fatigue and Carlos leaves his mug on the table going immediately to Lando's side "You know what? You are not making a lot of sense right now. I think I got half of the thing you are saying but what I can see is that you are dead on your feet so we are going to sleep and tomorrow you'll tell me everything, ok?" demands Carlos. 

Lando nods, leans on the shoulder of the eldest and reaches the bed only because Carlos picks him up... he is already asleep.

\---

When Carlos wakes up the next morning, he is a little disoriented. He hasn't slept that soundly since he spent his last night with Lando, but most of all, there is someone in his arms and only after inhaling and finding a handful of curls in his mouth does he realize that Lando is right there in between his arms and all the events of the night before come to his mind.

In that moment he feels the boy wake up and, before realizing where he is, Lando cuddles himself a little more in the chest of the oldest with a blissful smile on his lips. Bu, once he understands the situation, he springs away from Carlos, sitting up and trying to apologize in all ways he can think of. 

Carlos, taking pity on him, puts a hand on his arm and reassures him "Hey, it's okay. Don't worry we were sleeping. Now, however, can you explain to me what are you doing here?" and Lando begins to tell him how, after talking to him on the phone, he could no longer leave for Dubai because he had to come and tell him in person that he was so proud of him. How all planes to Spain were full or canceled and how he decided that taking his car and driving for seventeen straight hours was a smart idea. 

Carlos looks at him with wide eyes "Have you really driven up to here? You are completely loco?". 

"Well, how do you think my car got there in the driveway of your house? With Santa's sleigh?" asks a piqued Lando "and anyway ok... now I told you I'm really so proud of you.. now I think it’s time for me to go" Lando mumbles pulling the covers away from his body and getting up. But Carlos stops him "don't even think about it. You're not going anywhere. You won't want to have a relationship with me anymore, but I care about you and I'm not going to make you go back to England alone. You're here now, you can spend New Years Eve with me and my family" asks the Spaniard with pleading eyes. 

Lando turns to him "Carlos, I never said I don't want a relationship with you... It's just that it's a difficult situation" he sighs and continues "but if you allow me it would be an honor for me to stay here with you" says Lando taking Carlos' hands in his "and beating Caco at Rummikub like last year" he concludes laughing and running towards the kitchen in search of some breakfast. Carlos shakes his head, but follows him, finally smiling.

And if, at the end of the day, the only three people left at the table in front of the game board are a fuming Caco, and a giddy Lando with Carlos at his side just for cheering him on, no one says anything not even Caco because he has seen the two drivers in the last season and he doesn't want them to go back to the dark place they were just some months ago.  
But nobody stops the flying slipper that hits Lando after Caco reads the last tweet published by the Brit.

[ ](https://ibb.co/gjZWc8x)

"You're just jealous because you don't have a sexy cheerleader like mine to cheer for you" Lando yells at him as, with Carlos's wrist firmly in one hand, they run into the playroom to play some FIFA.

\---

The next morning, Lando wakes up again in Carlos's bed, but the other man is not there, in his place, sitting on the edge of the bed, there is Caco, who is staring at him with his arms crossed.

Lando gets up on one elbow and rubs one eye, trying to ward off some sleep "What?" he asks, seeing that Caco doesn't move from his position.

"I was wondering why you are still sleeping in Carlos's bed" asks the Spaniard. 

"Mh, because we were playing and we fell asleep. Is that a problem?" Lando asks, scratching the back of his neck.

"Well, if Carlos were my fiancé, to me it would be a problem. Honestly it’s not okay for his teammate to sleep with him while I have to stay in another room." Lando, more and more confused, sits up "Sorry but I don't follow you, who's the fiancé of whom?".

Caco puts a hand over his mouth "Oh my God, sorry. Carlos didn't tell you anything?" he continues shocked "I thought he told you the good news" concludes Caco.

Lando frowns "no? What's the news? Caco you're not making any sense!".

"That him and Isa are getting married!" Caco says before leaving the room and the Brit speechless.

"Morning sleepy beauty! I brought you breakfast, I hope the tea we have in the house will suit you, I finished the Earl Grey", says Carlos entering his room with a tray in his hands and trying to close the door behind himself with one foot. Not getting any answer "Are you still sleeping? Caco told me you were awake" he mutters placing the tray on the bedside table.

When his gaze falls on Lando he is thankful he has nothing in his hands. The youngest is sitting among the blankets, his knees curled up to his chest and his shoulders shaking with loud sobs. Carlos sits down quickly on the bed and reaches out to Lando who abruptly pulls away from his touch.

"Lando? What happened?" the older one asks confused. 

"Do you really think you have the right to ask me what happened?" Lando spits between his teeth "All those words yesterday. When did you think you were going to tell me that you and Isa are getting married? Do you hate me that much? Wasn't breaking my heart once enough for you, now you have fun making fun of me?" he goes on, getting up and staring with fiery eyes at Carlos who, more confused than ever, opens and closes his mouth without knowing what to say.

"Wait" says Carlos after regaining his voice "Wait!" he repeats more abruptly when Lando seems not to listen to him and continues to search for his sweatshirt. 

At the annoyed tone of the other man, Lando turns and Carlos feels something break in his chest as he sees the younger man's cheeks streaked with tears. "Who told you? Where did you hear it?" Carlos asks, a doubt starting to form in his head.  
"Caco. But it doesn't matter who or how I found out-" Lando tries to say, but Carlos grabs him by the wrist and pulls him to himself. 

"He's an idiot. Un idiota! That's not true, what we have been talking about these days is not a lie. Isa and I are not getting married. Today is.. the equivalent of April Fool's Day here in Spain" Carlos says, trying to console Lando by hugging him. Lando stops struggling and raises his eyes, crossing those of the Spaniard and Carlos sees the doubt that still lingers in his eyes "Please Lando believe me, I would never have done such a thing to you" Carlos pleads, stroking his cheek, and the smile that Lando gives him, following his hand and snuggling into his touch, are enough for now.

"Now I'm sorry, but I have to go find Caco... si todavía tiene la piel puesta al final del día, debe considerarse afortunado!" mutters Carlos while stomping down the stairs. Lando doesn't know if he completely understood what he had said, but he sensed it was a threat and bursts out laughing.

From that moment on, all day long, Lando never stops laughing. The Sainz family takes dia de los inocentes very seriously and not a second goes by without teasing or joking with each other, they even get Lando to post something on his twitter.

Caco, however, does not come within two meters of Lando, he does not know what Carlos has said to him, but all in all that's okay, because if the Spaniard were to get close to him Lando would probably punch him.

\---

There are a few minutes to midnight, a few minutes and 2020 will come to an end.

Lando is in a corner of the dining room, near the fruit basket, and is choosing the twelve smallest grapes. He's not superstitious, but he also knows he's not very good at chewing fast so he doesn't want to take laughter and bad luck to his side.

Carlos approaches him "what are you doing cariño?" then he notices the grapes in Lando’s hands "are you trying to cheat?" he asks with a grin on his lips. "No! I swear" Lando exclaims, feeling like a child caught with his hands in a jar of Nutella.

"You know, it brings better luck if a special person makes you eat the grapes" whispers Carlos taking the bunch of grapes from Lando's hands "ah yes, I didn't know this tradition" replies Lando raising an eyebrow. "Yes, yes, and then you have to make a wish for each grain" but he doesn't have time to get an answer because the first toll of the bells rings loudly from the TV speakers.

Carlos and Lando both take a grape and bring it to the other's mouth, then they start chewing as quickly as possible making funny faces to make their partner laugh.

_One_

I wish everything were easier

_Two_

I wish I could spend more time with my family

_Three_

I wish everyone can feel loved at least once in their life

_Four_

I wish my brother would stop making fun of me about my height

_Five_

I wish I could hug my grandparents again

_Six_

I wish everything to be as before

_Seven_

I wish I could change everything that happened

_Eight_

I wish I didn't have to hide anymore

_Nine_

I wish I never have to leave you again

_Ten_

I wish to see you smile like that for the rest of my life

_Eleven_

I really want to kiss you right now

_Twelve_

They look into each other's eyes, Carlos has his fingers brushing the smaller one's mouth, Lando can't take his eyes off the other man's shiny red lips.  
Lando surges forward at the exact moment that Carlos slides his hand at the base of the younger one’s neck, pulling him to himself and, after perhaps too long, their lips come together.

"I wish to stay like this forever" Lando whispers his last wish on the other's lips.

Carlos smiles "forever" he replies and dives back on the smaller one who eagerly responds by throwing his arms around the shoulders of the Spaniard. 

Both unaware of the fireworks in the garden, of Carlos's father who has just uncorked the sparkling wine and broke one of his wife's favorite vases, of Caco and Isa who are looking at them with a smile and of Piñon who is wrestling with one of the sofa cushions.

[ ](https://ibb.co/j6sJ2Yy)

**  
_Lo strano percorso / the strange track  
Di ognuno di noi / of each of us  
Che neanche un grande libro, un grande film / that not even a great book or a great movie  
Potrebbero descrivere mai / could never describe  
Per quant’è complicato / however complicated it is  
È imprevedibile / it’s unpredictable  
Per quanto in un secondo tutto può cambiare / however in a second everything can change  
Niente resta com’è / nothing stay the same_   
**

_Conference room of the Abu Dhabi 2022 grand prix, post-race interview with the three podium sitters and the new world champion._

Carlos is seated in the center, George with the Mercedes-branded cap on his right and Lando with his beloved papaya shirt on his left.

"Carlos, how does it feel to be the first driver to take over from Lewis Hamilton, but most of all, how does it feel to be able to bring the red team back to the top step of the podium and on their first World Title since 2007?" asks a reporter in a particularly strong accent.

Carlos steps on his boyfriend's foot, he doesn't see him well because he is trying to look at the journalist, but after years of relationship he knows him too well and knows how Lando is able to burst out laughing in the least suitable situations. He also knows that, having already answered their questions, Lando is no longer focused on the interview and George knows how to be a mischievous child and that therefore, they are making faces behind his back.

But Carlos doesn't have time to focus on the two children next to him, he has a question to answer.

"What can I say, it was a long and troubling battle, but I did it. We fought for the world title until the end and I'm sorry that, due to some technical problem in this last race, he is not here with us. I am very proud of all the work done by the mechanics, the engineers, the technicians, and I am grateful for all the support from our Tifosi" he clears his throat and takes a breath, his hands are sweaty and when he runs his palms over his pants, he realizes that they are shaking, but takes courage and continues "I would like to dedicate this victory to all those people who have always supported me and who have believed in me from day one. But in particular to a person who has been close to me between ups and downs, who never let go even when the situation was not the best. And, if you allow me, I would like to ask a question too" asserts Carlos. 

He looks around and all the people present are hanging on his lips. Journalists quickly take notes, some tapping away on their phones, some writing on their notebook, some who chew on their pen with anticipation.

Carlos' gaze falls on his PR person who frowns at him, but a glance from Carlos makes him stay in his place.

He feels George's curious gaze and Lando's more confused and worried look through his skull.

Still looking at the audience, Carlos gets up, puts his hands in his pockets and takes a deep breath "This season has not been one of the easiest, but certainly the most exciting for me. Today, in particular, is one of the happiest days of my life, and I would like to make it even more perfect but to do so I need some help. Lando, could you get up for a second?" Carlos asks, turning to his secret boyfriend and reaching out to him when Lando looks at him dazed without moving from his chair. 

At that gesture, the younger one gets up "What should I do?" he asks, arching an eyebrow and raising his arms slightly.

"Nothing, stay exactly as you are, which is perfect" says Carlos before taking off his cap and making eye contact with Lando.

\---

Everything happens in slow motion, like in a movie. Lando watches Carlos run his hands through his hair - a gesture the older one often makes when he's nervous - takes his hands out of his pockets and kneels.

A rush of emotions envelop Lando.

"Lando. There are many beautiful days I have experienced up until now. When I got on a kart for the first time, when I competed in F1 for the first time, when I saw you for the first time at MTC, and so many others that are not proper to tell here in front of everyone. Would you help me make this the most perfect day of my life? Would you marry me?" Carlos' words seem distant and Lando feels like he’s in a dream, he cannot speak, tears of joy keeping his breath stuck in his throat and the only thing he can do is nod.

Carlos gets up, takes Lando’s face in his hands and with the tip of his thumb wipes the lonely tear that has made its way down the cheek of the Brit.

Lando stands on his toes, throws his arms behind Carlos's neck and, digging his fingers into his hair, makes their mouths collide "Si si si si SI!" he whispers on Carlos' lips before hiding his head in the hollow of the Spaniard’s neck and bursts into giggles. When he looks up, his fiancé has eyes shining with emotion too - Fiancè... what a beautiful word - Lando can't resist and takes possession of Carlos's lips with his own all over again.

The two drivers remain like this, basking in their love for each other, regardless of the crazy flashes of the cameras, the radiant smile of George at seeing his friends finally free and happy, the applause of the people around them.

A new era for Formula 1 has begun.

**Author's Note:**

> [si todavía tiene la piel puesta al final del día, debe considerarse afortunado = if he still has flesh on his body at the end of the day, he’s lucky]
> 
> BIG THANK YOU to [@loveyouhomex](https://loveyouhomex.tumblr.com/) (you can also find her here)  
> I want to dedicate the finale of this fanfiction to her because after all the roller coaster of emotions the happy ending is like a warm hug after a day in the snow, it's like a hot chocolate in front of the fireplace, it's like a sip of fresh water after a long running. it's a big thank you so much for everything you do for me.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr [@oopshiaddict](https://oopshiaddict.tumblr.com/)


End file.
